Dear Editor,

Imagine: Instead of a parking ticket, you get a park and a picnic. Such a world is possible, if only we’re brave enough to create it.

Eugene, there are steps we can take to topple oligarchy right here at home. Across party lines, across creed, class, and other petty differences, I would like to make a truly bipartisan proposal: let’s put the park back in parking lot.

Our enemies have names, and addresses, and financial infrastructure we can fell. We all have a common enemy, and their name is Diamond Parking.

Let’s forge a path more beautiful than concrete. My fellow countrymen, let’s rewild the Diamond Parking lots. Let’s foster a foliage thick with joy and spread vines strengthened by community solidarity. Instead of fumes there could be laughter, instead of fines there could be park benches.

For those of you who aren’t fucked up about forking over $4.95/hr of your hard earned American dollars over to the most parasitic form of landlord to ever walk the earth, I might suggest that you revisit your corroded morals and take the bus or bike instead. A bus ticket is still cheaper than the minimum rate at any Diamond Parking lot.

Pave paradise, enough with the parking lots!

I rest my case, fuck you, Diamond Parking.

—an angry cyclist